We have “beat the odds” in our marriage. In May, 2013. we will celebrate 27 years! The odds were against us. I was married at 19, divorced at 22 and I was a single mother to my beautiful daughter. Rick and I met and neither one of us had a relationship with God. We lived together for 2 years before getting married. He adopted my daughter the month after the marriage and our son was born the following year. After being married for 11 years we both accepted Christ as Savior within a few months of each other. First my husband and then myself. That was in 1997. God granted us 10 years of growing with Him and preparing us for an event that changed our life forever. Our daughter, at 25 years old, was murdered by her husband on July 1, 2007. Once again, with God’s grace and mercy, we beat the odds. Not only did we stay together, we are closer to God and to each other. We renewed our vows in 2011, in front of family and friends as we committed our marriage to God for the first time and recommitted our marriage to each other for the second time! God is so good!
Marriages are under attack both from the general society but also from within the family. The general consensus is that if a marriage doesn’t make me feel good than it is a “bad” marriage and I need to start over. Not true! Love is a choice and not just a feeling. Your spouse and you for that matter, will NEVER fulfill all of your needs. You will not feel in love 24/7! It is impossible. You are human and your spouse is human and you are both going to mess up! The choice comes when you make the decision that your marriage is worth fighting for and working on! It is not always easy but it is always so worth it!
God created marriage to be a covenant between two people. A covenant is a promise, a committment to each other. For better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. Solemn vows. He made it a covenant because He knew we would have those days when you don’t really like your spouse very much. I have been there and felt that way too many times to count. But when I remember the promise for better And for worse, the moment passes. Life smooths out. Love rekindles.
When we have an argument Rick calls is cleaning the rafters, we shake the house so hard with our arguments that even the rafters are cleaned of their dirt! We had a few years where we had really clean rafters! We even had one argument that was so tough that I was in the car, ready to give up on our marriage. This was just a few months before we both accepted Christ as our Savior. But God was already working in our hearts. I was in the car getting ready to drive away when I looked into the eyes of my husband and my kids. What I saw there broke my heart and stopped me from driving away. It was fear, sorrow and total devastation. Our world was about to come crashing down around us. Those looks were harder to deal with then putting the car back into park, climbing out of the driver’s seat and heading back into the house. We made a new vow to each other that day. Never again would we have the choice to leave. We truly accepted the covenant promise of our marriage into our lives. Today, I am married to my best friend. He cherishes me and sacrifices for me. I adore him. I respect him for the man he continues to become and the man God has called him to be. I am so glad that I didn’t drive away that day. I would have missed out on this gift!
Marriage isn’t easy. Daily we have stressors that try to tear us apart. My heart breaks for marriages I see that are so me-focused that there is no we-focus.
We will continue to press on in telling others the truth of the Marriage Covenant, It is the only choice!