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Posts tagged ‘marriage and family’

Marriage: Lead Me

For the next several posts I want to share from my heart about the an issue that many will take offense to. This issue is the role of men & women as designed by God and how it affects our lives and our children’s lives.

As I meet with women in my sphere of influence I hear two cries from their hearts. They are crying out for their husbands to communicate with them. They want their husbands to share details of their days, share details of their struggles, & share compliments.  But even more I hear the cry of their hearts for a spiritual leader in their home.  When God designed men & women he gave each very specific roles.  To women, he gave the role of a helpmate. Rick tells me over and over that he couldn’t do his job without my support, that he needs my point of view on sticky subjects and that my affirmation of him makes him stand tall in the world.  This is my role. I stand beside him in life.

God designed men to have the responsibility to be the servant leader of the house. Rick leads me by doing bible studies with me. He leads me by discussing the struggles I have with my strong emotions and desires. He leads me by showing me his love and care for me and for our children.  He takes responsibility for decisions when we have reached an impasse in our discussions. He gives up guys nights out in order to spend time disciplining other guys. He gives up hobbies in order to spend time loving me. He sacrifices.

Unfortunately I don’t see a lot of men around us who are taking on the role that God designed for them.  I see men who are afraid to say, “I don’t understand the Bible” and then they won’t ask for help. I see men who put their priorities on their golf game, exercise program, their job or their “me time” over growing as the leader of their home. It breaks my heart! This is affecting their wives and their children.  But it affects even more because it affects the future generations.  Sons mimic their fathers, daughters marry someone just like their father, so the cycle is repeated.

What can we as women do? Pray, pray and pray some more. Pray for your husbands from their head to their toes. Pray that your attitude is not putting a stumbling block in their way. We can’t change the men in our lives but we can lift them up to the God who cares deeply. Read your bible, go to church, be discipled by other women and act on the values that you crave to see evident in your home. Encourage your husband to spend the time away from the family in a bible study. Sacrifice this time with him without complaining.

This does not change our husbands but it changes us.  I am not as critical when I have been spending time in the Word. I am held accountable when I am discipled. I am more honoring and loving to my husband and family when I am seeing through God’s eyes. When I am asking God for wisdom, I gain an understanding of Him .

Our Pastor gave a fabulous sermon for Father’s Day. You can listen to it here: The War on Sin

Sanctus Real has the song Lead Me

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying…

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you’re willing to fight
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They’re just children from the outside
I’m working hard, I tell myself they’ll be fine
They’re in independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying…

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you’re willing to fight
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I’m called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won’t You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can’t
Don’t want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I’ll show them I’m willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone

Father, lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone

A New Season: 2013

It is January 2013. I am sitting at our kitchen table in our new home as the rain is falling. Yes rain in January! Our grass is even growing.  Life has been a whirlwind over the past year and even more so over the last month. Christmas, New Year and then moving into our home.

Front of our new home

Front of our new home

We have been so blessed and we want to be able to bless others.  As I unpack the house I am trying to see it through the eyes of the people who will visit us and stay with us.  I have put a basket of “goodies” in each bathroom. Small bottles of shampoo, body wash, lotion and conditioner. There is also a shower cap and an eye mask for sleeping.  Eventually I want to have a makeup mirror in every dresser in the bedrooms as well as a luggage rack. Just little things to welcome friends and family. I can’t wait to start hanging up some pictures and putting out my favorite books. I have so many projects that I want to get started and complete.  But first I have to get unpacked!

One of my goals for this year is to get my journal about Tonia’s death completely edited so I can share it with anyone that God sends my way.  I believe that it might help to know that we have gone through the loss of Tonia and all of the surrounding issues and that God has made us stronger. I want it to encourage other marriages and families to be able to grow closer to God and to each other. It will be complete at just the right time.

For now I am going to unpack a few more boxes and try to organize a few more areas.  I can’t wait to open up my home to you!